Monday, March 15, 2010

Disoriented, and Bitter

Tonight on my way home, I was struck anew by how the landscape has changed. I feel like I am on another planet, it is so altered. A bat flew towards the windshield and I slowed to watch it careen in the dusk. Not even a mile further, I had to slam on the brakes as a pheasant hurtled in front of me, and in amazement over that, a few minutes later yet another pheasant ran frantically across the road. Add this to the bizarre opossum visit, and I would wager that the wildlife is just as disoriented as am I. And quite possibly they are behaving erratically because they are starving.

You can read all about bees being lost here.

Wait wait, isn't this blog about trees? Yes. But.

I have always thought tigers were the most magnificent creatures. Once, I was invited to a wedding in California and the bride worked for some circus or other, and she brought tigers to the outdoor reception. They climbed the trees effortlessly and draped themselves, languorous in the branches, watching the party through inscrutable eyes. They were far more enormous than I had imagined them to be, and I was terrified.

Now, apparently, tigers are doomed. Many years ago when I was in art school I got an assignment to do a collage, with a specified number of different media, and it had to have some sort of theme. So, I used a wood plank, with paint, and feathers, and wires from Bell Labs (ex-husband's employer at the time), a doll ripped asunder by first daughter, and random paste create what I called "The Subjugation of Women Through The Ages" - and it is still lurking in my kitchen over the sink, a bit dusty.

Humans are a despicable, pernicious influence on other species, millions and millions of them, that we are catapulting into extinction. We deserve the horrible fate that awaits us as ecosystems collapse, and we become hungry - no, starving, frantic, terrified, and insane.

So, I am disoriented, and bitter. I am furious, and disgusted with myself, that I didn't recognize the science many years ago, and respond with the appropriate alarm.

I should have known better.

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