Saturday, November 4, 2017

Regent of the Hotel

A member of The Panic Room, who wishes to remain anonymous (I mean, who would want to be publicly associated with this?) -

Okay!  That's not even really me, it's me in my dwindling mind - skinny still, with lots of hair remaining (and cats instead of Camus, whatevs) living out my remaining days of shabby desperation in the silvery damask-walled room of an abandoned hotel.  Everyone knows I love decaying buildings - so how appropriate to have a friend replace the lyrics to this classic song.  Many of the references are insider jokes but hopefully anyone can get the drift...thanks, Anon, for a truly glorious spoof!!

Hotel Ozonista
On the internet highway, Doom wind in my hair
warm smell of the Trumptards, wafting up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I see a Room for the night,
It says 'Panic' but I'm not too fussed - I have to stop for a shite

There she stood in the doorway, I heard the mission bell
Then I was thinking to myself this could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then she lit up a candle and she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor I thought I heard them say

'Welcome to the Hotel Ozonista
Such a lovely place
Just not a 'safe space'
Plenty of Doom at the Hotel Ozonista
I'll just grab a beer,
Where's the toilet here?'

Her mind is Tiffany twisted, she at her total wits end,
But lots of pretty helpful doomour pals - to keep her Zen
How they dance in the comments, sweet keyboard sweat
Some type to remember, some type to forget

So I call up the Captain, please bring me my whine, he said
We've haven't had McPherson here since January the 9th
And still that butthurt is calling from far away
Wakes you up in the middle of the night
With a libel ca-a-se.

'Welcome to the Hotel Ozonista
Such a lovely place
Such a snarky space
We're pimpin' it up at the Hotel Ozonista
Any time of year
You can find us here.

Szmereda hurts your feelings, while Rex is cool as ice
But we are all just prisoners here, of our own device
And in the Queens new chambers, they gather for the feast
they stab Guy with their steely knives,
but they just can't kill the beast
Next one up is Hester, he is running for the door
'we have to get extinction back, to the way it was before!'

'Goodnight' says Zawacki, 'We are all out of reprieve;
You can check out any time you like,
and this time - fuckin' leave!'


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