Saturday, January 26, 2013

National Putrid Radio, and the Dolphin Slayers

I was listening to All Things Considered on NPR yesterday when one of their fatuous announcers, I forget which one, announced in a perky aside that apparently, a confused dolphin that was trapped in Brooklyn's Gawanus Canal "didn't get the memo" that the waterway, long contaminated with dumping from manufacturing, has been designated a toxic superfund site, haha.  Isn't that funny??  The dolphin didn't get the memo.  Bwahahah, silly silly dolphin!  This enraged me and I thought immediately, you stupid bitch, don't you know that poor dolphin is going to die??
Sure enough, lo and behold, the dolphin has died, choking in visible filth.  Rescuers couldn't help because the water was too poisonous for them to get in.  For hours, people - with the exception of one bicyclist who climbed down to the surface - just watched this creature pathetically gasp and choke.
I tried but couldn't locate a clip to that brief announcement on the radio website - I think they don't preserve the news in their podcast of the longer stories - because I would have liked to post it so everyone could witness exactly how callously the talking heads at NPR are mired in disgraceful anthropomorphic myopia.  But hey, this blurb from an earlier AP account provides the same glibly puerile perspective:

News video: Raw: Dolphin Makes a Splash in NYCThe deep-freeze weather didn't seem to faze a dolphin that was making a splash Friday in New York's Gowanus Canal. According to authorities at the scene, the creature appeared to be adventurous, rather than stranded. (Jan. 25)


  1. A good plague cannot happen soon enough to human beings, for the sake of the rest of the suffering planet.

  2. You must have been in the car, stuck in traffic.
    National Petroleum Radio?

  3. Yes, stuck in the car. Otherwise I never listen to National Petroleum Radio - I gave up the idea that they're objective when they started having commercials...sort of like when I quie reading the NYT when they were lying about the WMD in Iraq.

    What would we do without the 'tubes?

    I guess we'll find out soon enough...


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